Accepting that you have a chronic illness can be hard. For myself, when I was first diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, I felt so good once I was on insulin that I was euphoric. I had not felt that good in a very long time. After being on medication I started to feel like myself over the next few months, and then it started to hit me like the stages of grief. From denial to anger, I felt many of the different stages like one does after a death. I even tried to bargain with my diabetes after reading an article about someone going gluten free and was able to reverse it. I know that's a farfetched story, but when you are grasping to try and find a lifeboat you'll give up gluten. After that, I tried to eat very few carbs so that I wouldn't need to dose. If I only needed my long acting insulin, perhaps I could start to ween myself off that too. Even though my head knows all these things will not work, I tried. I tried because I had not accepted that I indeed have Type 1 Diabetes. It's hard to accept at times for me.
What I have learned is that I need to be kind to myself. It is hard to accept you have a chronic disease and some days you can accept it better than others. One thing that has greatly helped me and calm my mind is that I have started practicing daily meditation. Often our minds can be our biggest creator of more problems and the what if this, and what if that. For me, meditation helps calm those thoughts. Here is the the specific video I listen to on Youtube to meditate. Meditation takes a few times, for most, before it seems natural. So, give it some time. Somehow this persons voice takes me to a deep state of relation pretty quickly after I have been practicing for sometime.
The second thing I have done is practice yoga more frequently. Stretching my body has been good for my body and mind. I feel at one with my body and I feel powerful. Even a ten minute yoga workout can get these marvelous effects of you body and mind. What I love about meditation and yoga is that you can practice it by yourself or in a group. Getting more in touch with my body and taking a moment to listen to it has given me a better appreciation for all my body is doing. Now instead of saying, why pancreas? I work on saying, thank you body, for doing all you are doing.